D-Day

Today is Wednesday. The GMAT is Friday. I'm scared. I have never studied for anything this hard in my life. I am burnt out and tired and if I see one more word problem, I'm going to puke. I still feel like I'm not ready, at least, not ready for the score I need. I am sitting here at work, my note cards in hand, hoping that I can absorb those last few bits of knowlege before I go in there. There is so much to learn and I am worried that I am only half way there. My brain can't handle much more of this. Fortunately, we are going on vacation next week and the GMAT will be ancient history-- unless I do poorly, then I will have to keep at it after I get back and take the stupid thing again! It is making me sick. Alas, it is just a test! Why should I get so worked up about it when I can just take it again? Well, for a price, that is.

The Adventure Begins

I have been studying for the GMAT since the last week of May. I am scheduled to take it July 25th. I have been relearning Algebra and geometry and starting from scratch on many other subjects that are more advanced. I study 2-4 hours a day. some of these days are good and some are bad. I was reviewing at home, but between the phone, Le Mari and whoever else decides to stop by, I couldn't get anything done, so, I have moved on to the library. I leave my phone in the car and if I'm lucky, I can get a private room.

Math is not my strong point, it never has been. I could shoot myself for saying "I'm never going to use this when I get out" about all of the stuff that I am now struggling to learn. Kids- make sure you pay attention in class, you never know when you are going to need to know this stuff. Verbal is easier for me, but I'm still not doing as well as I need to. I am taking a practice test today, so we will see what happens. I actually got a lower score on the last test than I did the first one. Awesome. I feel more confident today so cross your fingers.

I really don't want to take the GMAT more than once. one week after the test, Le Mari and I are going to France and Germany for nine days. It will be perfect timing after working full time and studying. I'm hoping my score is decent, that way the trip will be more fun and I can concentrate on getting my admissions stuff ready to apply to grad school for the spring. I am taking prerequisites in the fall-- statistics and some other math course. At least I got my foot in the door. Now I just have to get a B or above on everything so work will pay for it!

A New Beginning

So, I have decided that I am getting lazy and complacent with my life. It’s no one's fault but my own. I have let work take advantage of me over and over, causing me to resent it. I have refused to move on from my pre-Le Mari life. It was really wearing on me. It was wearing on my marriage. I had to change my life for the better on my own and what I was doing up until this point wasn't working.

I was trying before- don't think I wasn't. I applied for multiple internal positions at work that I did not get. Rejection after rejection was getting old. it wasn't just new jobs at work, it was little things like broken monitors that never got fixed, empty promises, lying. I was getting tired of be screwed with. The only way I can get into management is to stay at my current company because I need experience. I have no choice but to stay unless I want to take a step back at a new company. I can't do that. Besides, I love my job, at least I used to. I know things will get back to normal eventually. I have been going into the city every couple of weeks to get my fill as well, but it's still not snapping me out of it.

Finally, I realized that just because things are different now, doesn't mean that they are worse. I can't even tell you when I realized what I had to do to get my life back on track, it just hot me one day. I decided that it was time to finally commit to grad school. I have tried before and given up. I have even gone as far as paying $250 for the GMAT and not going to the test. Not smart.

I basically have to learn the math from high school that I never cared about before. That is a challenge. I went to art school for college and I think that there were maybe two math electives that I could have taken. "Elective" being the operative word. Obviously that didn't happen. Verbal is much easier for me but will still take some work.

None of this is getting me down, though. I'm not dwelling on how much I have to learn or how impossible it will be; I'm just doing it. I'm not doing it to get promoted either, although that would be nice. I'm not doing this for more money. I'm getting going to grad school for me, to prove it to myself that I can do it.

If I can get into my school of choice, all of my current issues will subside. I will be going to school in the city, so I can get my fill and not miss it so much. My company will pay for it-- I will finally get the most out of them. I'll be learning and growing as a person. Down time will be limited which will make me a more content person. I was putting more importance on naps than anything else so things were getting pretty bad. Le Mari will be happier because I will be happier. I'll only be taking two classes a semester so it won't be too much or take too much time away from my husband.

I'm so excited. There is a class on the business of book publishing. I love books. I really can't wait. I thrive on change and newness. I need to be challenged on a regular basis and I haven't been getting that. Hopefully this will do it for me.

It's About Time

RUN REPORT: So, last week went really well. Didn't miss a run, logged 19 miles which is decent for me at this point. I ran all week on the treadmill (speed 6.0, elevation 3.0) and my weekend runs were outside on the golf course road. I have to admit that I am sick of this weather. The 3 miler on Saturday wouldn't have been bad at 34 degrees, but there were 15-25 mph winds. My Sunday 5 miler at 21 degrees was aweful, not a terrible run, just cold and damp and miserable. At least the sun was out! This week is a slight step up in mileage. I have a three miler today. The weekend will be busy so I am trying to reconfigure this week. We'll see!

Better Late Than Never

Last weekend I was in PA for Easter visiting my parents. I met up with a few of my high school friends that I literally had not seen in five, maybe ten years. We had an amazing time.

Our senior year of high school was one of the best years of my entire pre-college career. We had an amazing group of friends that we hung out with every weekend, going out to eat, going to movies, parties, bowling, playing pool, truth or dare, you name it. There were, maybe, ten or twelve of us. It was great. Our personalities were so diverse that we were never bored. We did butt heads often, though. By the time we were ready for college, a lot of us were getting on each other’s nerves. Over the next few years, most of us had lost touch. I decided that it was crazy for us not to keep in touch when, at one time, we were all so close.

Things change after ten years... it had been that long since I saw some of the friends that were present at this little reunion on Saturday night. One of the girls married one of the guys from our group and now has a baby, plus one on the way. Another is married as well, with two beautiful children. I, myself, am recently married and then we have two boys from the group still single, waiting for that perfect person to come along.

It was like nothing changed, except the addition of a baby at the table! We joked around and laughed, reminisced and talked about our lives. It was the perfect evening.

RUN REPORT: Yeah. Didn't run once in PA. SO MAD! Friday- it was freezing. Saturday- it snowed five inches. By Sunday I was just lazy and gave up. I did run yesterday and will run four tomorrow.

Three Runs in Pennsylvania

RUN REPORT: I had two decent runs this week so far, one on Tuesday and one on Wednesday, both on the treadmill. I have a three miler today which I wanted to do this AM, but between the wind and the 36 feels like 21, I decided to wait until things warm up. I may try Kish Park this afternoon, but sadly, I have gotten used to the protection of the treadmill. No bad weather, no cars, no dogs... I have no access to the Y or the gym here, so outdoors we will go! I forgot my running hat and my windbreaker (not too smart) so I'll have to wear another, more itchy hat and suck it up. The problem with being home and fitting in runs is that we are busy most of the day and then my motivation for running is gone, really just want to hang out with my mom, drinking tea and watching a movie. NOT THIS TIME! I'm going to run all weekend. I vow to run all weekend.

Through Rain, Snow, Sleet and Hail...

RUN REPORT: So this week was nothing to be proud of although I did get a three miler in on Friday that went well and today I did a fiver. Today's run was not so hot. I had a bowl of Grapenuts as a snack around lunch time as well as some stir fry (I was hungry, OK?) and it really didn't sit well, even though I waited three hours to run. I should know better. I felt heavy the entire run and my stomach was kinda tight. I'm sure not getting much running in the last two weeks didn't help that either. I should have probably cut this one short but I was determined. I'm glad I did it, but man, it was not easy. I did run a 9:07 mile, which isn't bad, for me. Also, through the course of the run I managed to get rained on, sleeted on and the sun showed it's face for a few minutes too. It just keeps getting better!