D-Day

Today is Wednesday. The GMAT is Friday. I'm scared. I have never studied for anything this hard in my life. I am burnt out and tired and if I see one more word problem, I'm going to puke. I still feel like I'm not ready, at least, not ready for the score I need. I am sitting here at work, my note cards in hand, hoping that I can absorb those last few bits of knowlege before I go in there. There is so much to learn and I am worried that I am only half way there. My brain can't handle much more of this. Fortunately, we are going on vacation next week and the GMAT will be ancient history-- unless I do poorly, then I will have to keep at it after I get back and take the stupid thing again! It is making me sick. Alas, it is just a test! Why should I get so worked up about it when I can just take it again? Well, for a price, that is.

The Adventure Begins

I have been studying for the GMAT since the last week of May. I am scheduled to take it July 25th. I have been relearning Algebra and geometry and starting from scratch on many other subjects that are more advanced. I study 2-4 hours a day. some of these days are good and some are bad. I was reviewing at home, but between the phone, Le Mari and whoever else decides to stop by, I couldn't get anything done, so, I have moved on to the library. I leave my phone in the car and if I'm lucky, I can get a private room.

Math is not my strong point, it never has been. I could shoot myself for saying "I'm never going to use this when I get out" about all of the stuff that I am now struggling to learn. Kids- make sure you pay attention in class, you never know when you are going to need to know this stuff. Verbal is easier for me, but I'm still not doing as well as I need to. I am taking a practice test today, so we will see what happens. I actually got a lower score on the last test than I did the first one. Awesome. I feel more confident today so cross your fingers.

I really don't want to take the GMAT more than once. one week after the test, Le Mari and I are going to France and Germany for nine days. It will be perfect timing after working full time and studying. I'm hoping my score is decent, that way the trip will be more fun and I can concentrate on getting my admissions stuff ready to apply to grad school for the spring. I am taking prerequisites in the fall-- statistics and some other math course. At least I got my foot in the door. Now I just have to get a B or above on everything so work will pay for it!

A New Beginning

So, I have decided that I am getting lazy and complacent with my life. It’s no one's fault but my own. I have let work take advantage of me over and over, causing me to resent it. I have refused to move on from my pre-Le Mari life. It was really wearing on me. It was wearing on my marriage. I had to change my life for the better on my own and what I was doing up until this point wasn't working.

I was trying before- don't think I wasn't. I applied for multiple internal positions at work that I did not get. Rejection after rejection was getting old. it wasn't just new jobs at work, it was little things like broken monitors that never got fixed, empty promises, lying. I was getting tired of be screwed with. The only way I can get into management is to stay at my current company because I need experience. I have no choice but to stay unless I want to take a step back at a new company. I can't do that. Besides, I love my job, at least I used to. I know things will get back to normal eventually. I have been going into the city every couple of weeks to get my fill as well, but it's still not snapping me out of it.

Finally, I realized that just because things are different now, doesn't mean that they are worse. I can't even tell you when I realized what I had to do to get my life back on track, it just hot me one day. I decided that it was time to finally commit to grad school. I have tried before and given up. I have even gone as far as paying $250 for the GMAT and not going to the test. Not smart.

I basically have to learn the math from high school that I never cared about before. That is a challenge. I went to art school for college and I think that there were maybe two math electives that I could have taken. "Elective" being the operative word. Obviously that didn't happen. Verbal is much easier for me but will still take some work.

None of this is getting me down, though. I'm not dwelling on how much I have to learn or how impossible it will be; I'm just doing it. I'm not doing it to get promoted either, although that would be nice. I'm not doing this for more money. I'm getting going to grad school for me, to prove it to myself that I can do it.

If I can get into my school of choice, all of my current issues will subside. I will be going to school in the city, so I can get my fill and not miss it so much. My company will pay for it-- I will finally get the most out of them. I'll be learning and growing as a person. Down time will be limited which will make me a more content person. I was putting more importance on naps than anything else so things were getting pretty bad. Le Mari will be happier because I will be happier. I'll only be taking two classes a semester so it won't be too much or take too much time away from my husband.

I'm so excited. There is a class on the business of book publishing. I love books. I really can't wait. I thrive on change and newness. I need to be challenged on a regular basis and I haven't been getting that. Hopefully this will do it for me.

It's About Time

RUN REPORT: So, last week went really well. Didn't miss a run, logged 19 miles which is decent for me at this point. I ran all week on the treadmill (speed 6.0, elevation 3.0) and my weekend runs were outside on the golf course road. I have to admit that I am sick of this weather. The 3 miler on Saturday wouldn't have been bad at 34 degrees, but there were 15-25 mph winds. My Sunday 5 miler at 21 degrees was aweful, not a terrible run, just cold and damp and miserable. At least the sun was out! This week is a slight step up in mileage. I have a three miler today. The weekend will be busy so I am trying to reconfigure this week. We'll see!

Better Late Than Never

Last weekend I was in PA for Easter visiting my parents. I met up with a few of my high school friends that I literally had not seen in five, maybe ten years. We had an amazing time.

Our senior year of high school was one of the best years of my entire pre-college career. We had an amazing group of friends that we hung out with every weekend, going out to eat, going to movies, parties, bowling, playing pool, truth or dare, you name it. There were, maybe, ten or twelve of us. It was great. Our personalities were so diverse that we were never bored. We did butt heads often, though. By the time we were ready for college, a lot of us were getting on each other’s nerves. Over the next few years, most of us had lost touch. I decided that it was crazy for us not to keep in touch when, at one time, we were all so close.

Things change after ten years... it had been that long since I saw some of the friends that were present at this little reunion on Saturday night. One of the girls married one of the guys from our group and now has a baby, plus one on the way. Another is married as well, with two beautiful children. I, myself, am recently married and then we have two boys from the group still single, waiting for that perfect person to come along.

It was like nothing changed, except the addition of a baby at the table! We joked around and laughed, reminisced and talked about our lives. It was the perfect evening.

RUN REPORT: Yeah. Didn't run once in PA. SO MAD! Friday- it was freezing. Saturday- it snowed five inches. By Sunday I was just lazy and gave up. I did run yesterday and will run four tomorrow.

Three Runs in Pennsylvania

RUN REPORT: I had two decent runs this week so far, one on Tuesday and one on Wednesday, both on the treadmill. I have a three miler today which I wanted to do this AM, but between the wind and the 36 feels like 21, I decided to wait until things warm up. I may try Kish Park this afternoon, but sadly, I have gotten used to the protection of the treadmill. No bad weather, no cars, no dogs... I have no access to the Y or the gym here, so outdoors we will go! I forgot my running hat and my windbreaker (not too smart) so I'll have to wear another, more itchy hat and suck it up. The problem with being home and fitting in runs is that we are busy most of the day and then my motivation for running is gone, really just want to hang out with my mom, drinking tea and watching a movie. NOT THIS TIME! I'm going to run all weekend. I vow to run all weekend.

Through Rain, Snow, Sleet and Hail...

RUN REPORT: So this week was nothing to be proud of although I did get a three miler in on Friday that went well and today I did a fiver. Today's run was not so hot. I had a bowl of Grapenuts as a snack around lunch time as well as some stir fry (I was hungry, OK?) and it really didn't sit well, even though I waited three hours to run. I should know better. I felt heavy the entire run and my stomach was kinda tight. I'm sure not getting much running in the last two weeks didn't help that either. I should have probably cut this one short but I was determined. I'm glad I did it, but man, it was not easy. I did run a 9:07 mile, which isn't bad, for me. Also, through the course of the run I managed to get rained on, sleeted on and the sun showed it's face for a few minutes too. It just keeps getting better!

Conched Out

We spent most of our time at Atlantis but did take the ferry to downtown Nassau one morning. I'm not a big fan of being pushed to buy things (especially junk) but we did find a few souvenirs at the straw market.

The man in the boat, pictured above was extremely fascinating to me. He was docked right along the walkway in front of the straw market, presenting his wears to anyone who would look. It would be acceptable to assume that he went out, fished the beautiful conch and starfish out of the deep blue sea, cleaned them up and brought them to sell. He had a large group standing around him and he must have done well because, let's face it, there really isn't a plethora of quality items at the straw market to buy. A cynic would say that he bought them in bulk, put them in his boat and sold them for a much higher price. If that is the case he really did create a beautiful illusion. We didn't buy anything from this man, but we did admire what he had to offer.

RUN REPORT: There's not much to tell because work has overtaken my life this week and I have yet to run. Hopefully today will work out for me.

Thoughts on Marriage: Inspired by Le Tigre in France

Le Mari and I were married in August. We lived together through the engagement only (HUGE ADJUSTMENT) and after the wedding, our relationship has changed little- which is good. I sometimes feel that we get along better now than we did when we were dating. We are both very stubborn and "challenge" each other on a regular basis...

It's assumed that marriage is the next step to the perfect life but in reality, it's not easy. We have been together five years now and he still surprises me. I was good at being single and I found that even though we have been together five years, it is still hard for me to give up aspects of my independence and moving out of my apartment in the City to a house in the suburbs is still difficult. There is a lot of compromise involved. I encourage youngsters (yes, I said youngsters) to do everything they want before they get married because when you do, life really changes. Before, work was my life and I did basically what I wanted when I wanted to do it. Now I focus on Le Mari as much as I can, every decision I make revolves around how it will effect him. I cook, clean (as much as I can without killing myself!) and adjust to life with a "roommate" again. Laundry doubles, dishes double. There is plenty of time for marriage and children, with them come much responsibility. Take your time. If they love you, they will wait for you to do what you need to do whether it be advancement in your career, travel, etc. I waited and have no regrets or feel that there was something I wished I had done or experienced. I can love Le Mari without the resentment that I see forming in so many middle aged women who were married with children so young. When you are ready, laundy will be a pleasure. Well... let's not go that far!

RUN REPORT: I ran one day in the Bahamas. The weather was beautiful and the run was nice. It was only three(fairly slow)miles and then I got a bit lazy because, let's face it, I WAS on vacation. Otherwise, I got plenty of excercise walking on the beach every day and swimming in endless pools. Wonderful vacation, highly recommended. Stay in the Quality Suites, they are half the price of Atlantis and you have use of all the facilities. Well worth the trip and a great place for kids and adults alike.

Bahama Mamma

Well, hopefully the short amount of running did me some good because I am off to the Bahamas tomorrow and I don't plan to wear much more than a bathing suit the entire time. God, I can't wait to see the sun again and wear skimpy clothes! I LOVE skimpy clothes! All these sweaters are just NOT working for me anymore! The above picture is of me and my mother the first time I was ever in the Bahamas. I was 16.

Le Mari is staying home. He has recently been promoted at work and doesn't want to make waves. I really am going to miss him. He loves the ocean and marine life. Atlantis would be the perfect vacation for him. It is really hard for me to leave him behind, but let's face it, I need a vacation and it's not my fault he's missing out! I know, so insensitive! I'll be hanging out with my parents who I am very close to. So, my friends, in honor of a much needed "spring break", I will leave you with this: Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take you to Bermuda, Bahamas, come on pretty mamma, Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go to Jamaica...

RUN REPORT: so, I ran my first five miler yesterday for the first time in months and I can say without hesitation that it was the best five miler I have run in years. I felt great. The temp started out remotely warm (38) but it cooled off quickly since I went at 5PM. I did it in 9:04/mi, which is pretty good considering how out of shape I am. This week I ran 15.5 miles total. Nice. I saw a few deer yesterday, which was cool. I really cannot feel much better. I feel complete.

I plan to run during vacation. We'll see if that actually happens! Ahh... the road to life is paved with good intentions...

Hiatus

I've been lazy with my blog as of late. As I looked at my stat site recently, I saw that I have a large amount of new lurkers, many coming from Running Ahead. Just wanted to thank you all for checking out the site and please feel free to comment if you have something to say.

One of the reasons I have been out of commission for the last month or so is because I have started running again- really running, seriously this time. I posted about it earlier and am glad to say that it is going really well, even though I have started slowly. I am running my first five miler in a LONG time Saturday and I am actually looking forward to it. I plan to write more about my running on this blog, make it more of a focus. I still want to write my happy little entries as before, just maybe an additional running update as well.

Also, I promise to be better at writing. I'll be on vacation next week so I'm SURE I will have something fun to report after that.

Under the Fig Tree

When I was a little girl my parents used to fly me down to my grandparent's house in Louisiana every summer (I started at age 6). I would meet my cousins there (see post "Family Matters") and we would spend two wonderful weeks swimming every day, eating snow cones in a thousand different flavors (Grandma called them sippy-owls), and being pampered by our grandparents. Those were some of the best days of my life.

My grandparents had many fruit trees and my grandfather had a garden from which, one year, he grew one of the biggest cucumbers the world has ever seen! It was so exciting to cut into that amazing vegetable (fruit?), so sweet and clean tasting. He saved it just for us and we loved it. I think it lasted us the entire two weeks and the salads my grandmother made with it were divine.

One fruit tree that always sticks out in my mind and reminds me of those days as kids was the fig tree. I didn't like figs, I don't think I had a legitimate reason; I just didn't like the sound of them. We did make it a hobby of picking them regularly when they were at their peak. Now that they both of my grandparents are gone and I don't get back to Louisiana quite as often, I regret not taking advantage of this sweet, juicy, fruit that you can pick right off the tree.

The pictures shown are from last summer. I had a wedding shower there thrown by my southern family. My uncle owns the house now but only stays there when he is in the area on business. The tree grew to enormous proportions and the figs were just about ready to pop. The skies were growing dark and stormy so just after this picture was taken, we worked hard and fast to gather up as many as we could before the rain caused them to burst and be inedible. Last summer I finally got over my fear of figs and ate one, savoring every last bite. I'm hoping that this is not the last time I get to eat a fresh fig off my grandparent's tree. Now that they are gone, I feel that my magical life there is fading away.

These Shoes Were Made for Running

I am really trying hard not to write about the stuff that I rehash over and over in my head and to others on a regular basis (i.e. work, living in the boonies, etc). Unfortunately for you, this post is about just such a subject- running. If you know my anxiety with running, please stop reading this post straight away, I really don't want you to have to suffer through this again. If not, here's the deal.

I started running in 2003 after eating my way through college, gaining weight for the first time in my life and struggle to get back into a normal eating routine for years after. In 2003, I started dating Le Mari. I have no idea if this has anything to do with me finally forcing myself to commit to a healthier lifestyle or meeting him, but he would like to think the latter! I went from walk/running a mile to being able to run thirteen miles and actually enjoying it! YES! You can enjoy running! I was fully committed. I ran five to six days a week before work and would wake up early to run on weekends. I was in the best shape of my life and loved every minute of it!

In the fall of 2005, I was chosen to be a part of a special team at work. Before, I was working 11AM-7PM giving me ample time to ease into my day, run, eat breakfast, etc. When this went into effect, I had to get into work at 8AM and wasn't getting home until 7PM. My running slowed significantly. After that, I was promoted and put on a 6AM-2PM shift. Trying to convert from an AM runner to a PM runner is not at easy as you think. By the time I got home from work, I was (and am) exhausted. I just want to go home and take a nice long nap, which I was (and still am) doing every day. My running went from sporadic to nonexistent. I was going off and on, taking weeks off at a time then running a day or two, which was doing nothing for me. I tried and retried to get back into it but just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Last week, I decided that it was time to get off my lazy back end and commit for real this time. I discovered a running store in the same complex as my grocery store so Le Mari and I went yesterday to check it out. What better way to start a new routine than to buy a new pair of shoes!

Fleet Feet is a chain but run by a family. The wife, husband and 16-year-old daughter were there at 10AM getting ready for the day. It reminded me so much of growing up with my parents owning their own business, going to work with them, helping out when I was forced. It was great.

I got my feet analyzed. I ran on a treadmill and was recorded by a video camera so the lady that was helping me could decide what shoes I needed to try. Apparently I overpronate, but that is a whole other story. She brought me several pairs of shoes and had me walk in all of them, and then we tried insoles. $135 later, I was ready to run!

I'm happy to say that I ran a sad two miles yesterday and two miles today. I really need to work my way back up. I feel great. I have tomorrow off but Tuesday will be the real test when I will have to come home and run after work. I need lots of support (AKA someone to force me) but I think I can do it. I know I can!

By the way, Le Mari decided that I looked so cute in my running gear that he wanted to take a picture. After I saw it, I decided it would be my before of a before and after. Not flattering at all! Let me tell you one thing, Ladies, if you are any bigger than 5’10”, 110lbs, don’t EVER get your picture taken in spandex. It’s not worth the pain and frustration.

Family Matters

I am terrible with the phone. E-mail is one of my main forms of communication to most of my loved ones and it is getting really bad. I am trying to get better.

As a kick-start to my goal of calling people more often, I phoned my cousin, Kiki, last night just to say hi and see how she was doing. I very rarely do this even though I love her like a sister. I am an only child but my parents made sure I was very close to my extended family. Many of my cousins, second cousins, and second cousins once removed, etc. flew up from Texas, Louisiana, and Virginia for the wedding. It meant more to me than they will ever know.

As we chatted about work, kids, husbands and life, I realized (as I do every time I see or talk to her) how much I love having her in my world, no matter how infrequently we get to spend time together. All of my cousins touch my life in a different way and I wish more than anything that I could be with them more often.

Now that our grandmother has died, we don't have as many excuses to get together and it scares me. We had always made the effort before and hopefully we will now. Soon we will all be starting families, if we haven't already, which will just make things harder. I hope we have the strength to keep this close-nit family going, no matter how far apart we are or how complicated things get. We need each other.

In this picture, my three closest cousins and I are with my great Aunt Rosemary, back when we were young and sweet. I am the blonde, Kiki is the brunette.

Stowe Flakes

Last weekend Le Mari and I went to Stowe, Vt. It was his Christmas gift. He loves to ski and I know he rarely has the opportunity to do it on real snow so I booked us a trip. I, on the other hand, have not skied since I was about twelve, when I realized that my chances of skiing on something other than ice and not freezing my back end off regularly was slim to none. I gave it up. This was a truly selfless gift, except for the fact that Vermont was on my list of places to see in the North East.

I proceeded to get sick the Thursday before and was coughing the entire time. Poor Le Mari, I barely complained but he knew I was in pain. I stayed in the lodge by the fire, reading a book while he skied. This was the original plan all along but I must say I was a bit envious. The mountain was beautiful and there were more slopes than you could possibly imagine.

The village of Stowe was quaint and lovely. Tiny shops and restaurants, letting off warm glows from windows, dotted the streets. The river, almost frozen over, made it even more of a wonderland.

Each restaurant we went to was excellent, including the one in our hotel, Mr. Pickwick's. It was true English cuisine. I had escargot in puff pastry with a rich, chocolaty brown sauce and beef wellington. There is nothing like forcing your husband to eat something and and then preceding to inform him that it was fattened goose liver (fois gras). YUM! Well, I enjoyed it anyway! He had quail, which was tasty as well. They have over a hundred foreign beers on tap which made for an interesting evening as well!

One day, when it was bitter cold, too cold for skiing, so we drove 45 minutes to Burlington, a small city perfectly clean with everything you could ever want. There were a few colleges there and lots of places to eat and shop. There were a few blocks closed off to cars, with only shopping and restaurants, which I loved. I noticed people wearing their ski pants in places other than the slopes, making me realize that their winters were so cold that this has actually become the fashion up here!

All in all, with coughing and later, sneezing, and a six hour car ride, it was worth every minute. I would love to go in the summer and see it then, it is a beautiful state.

Bring in the Clowns

My birthday present from my husband was tickets to the Big Apple Circus and I have to admit, I was a bit leery about the whole idea. This time, I was surprised.

We were the only ones there without a small child as we entered the festively decorated tent just behind Lincoln Center. It was a one-ring circus, which I actually preferred to the three ring confusion that was the circus I remember as a child. I almost felt guilty that we were only three rows from the front when there were children five or six rows behind us, but really, all the seats were good considering the size of the big top. I should have known that anything in New York, even the Big Apple Circus, would have a hint of sophistication. Give or take an annoying clown, the show was quite fun and parts even beautiful.

Le Mari had never been to the circus and he immediately fell in love. I have never seen him so enthusiastic and he literally couldn't stop talking about the acrobats, contortionists, and well trained poodles the entire 40 block walk Uptown. His reaction to something I had the priviledge to enjoy a number of times as a child was worth the expesive tickets, popcorn and snowcones (yes we got a snowcone!) alone.

I had to post more than one picture because so many came out well. Above and below, you will see the hoola hoop girl and the contortionists. They were my favorite.

Yes, Virginia, there are good restaurants Upstate!

We may not always have authentic Japanese here in America and our wasabi may really be made from horseraddish, but it has become a staple in my life. Since I have moved out of the City there seem to be a shortage of good restaurants. Something as simple as Chinese is nonexistent. Most places we have been to, we have thought to be sub par. We are still searching. Last night, though, we stumbled upon a new Japanese restaurant that Le Mari's chiropractor suggested. The one we had previously been going to had been closed for renovations for a month and we had been going to a decent alternative, but not wonderful.

It was like any other Japanese restaurant in decor, bamboo mats on the wall with images of geisha and Japanese landscapes. A green wall sized waterfall was really the only set it apart, other than the food.

It took me years to get Le Mari to eat sushi and now he can't get enough. We have a habit of getting an appetizer or salad, usually edemame or maybe spring rolls. I always get green tea. We share five rolls almost always the same: spicy tuna, salmon avocado, eel cucumber, shrimp tempura and California if it's real crab. It is the perfect amount for us. My favorite is spicy tuna and it has become my way of judging quality. The intermediate place we were going to put too many scallions in their spicy tuna, the first place was pretty good, but not the best I've had. This restaurant, however, challenges even some sushi I was getting in the City. All of the rolls were fresh, just enough rice, lots of fish and excellent service. I am so glad to find a place that is up to my standards, which are pretty high.

Lily Manor

I went for a short visit to see my wedding coordinator in Pennsylvania last weekend. This statement is odd only for the fact that Le Mari and I were married in August.

I met so many interesting and talented people through the process of planning the wedding that it was hard to let go of them. Olga, the brains behind the operation at Lily Manor (the venue where we had the wedding), was my greatest find. Not only did she and I become friends, she and my parents became close as well.

My mom and I decided to stop by to show her the wedding album. Olga's husband, daughter and father-in-law were there, helping to paint the upstairs, making us the perfect interruption to a hard day's work. There are so many things I love about coming here. It is an old mansion out in the middle of farm country and the atmosphere is completely relaxing yet sophisticated. When we are together, conversation flows like the endless wine that always magically appears in our glasses. It amazes me that no matter how short notice our visits are, she always has an apéritif on hand. This time it we had endless white wine, slices of feta, bread, olives and oil for dipping. I could eat like this every day of my life! It is so simple, but the quality of everything is at the piedmont of perfection and each bite transports me back to Greece. Three hours and four glasses of wine later, I was feeling pretty good. It was just one more event to make my weekend at home wonderful as usual.

Francais Blog Stalker

I'm sure you are wondering why my blog is inundated with French links, language widgets and food posts when I am, in fact, 100% American (well, actually, I am about a quarter French, a quarter English, a quarter German and a quarter halfbreed) and living in New York. I know what you're thinking and I am NOT a French blog stalker. There is just something about France and that way of life that intrigues me. Brave Americans that are currently living in France write most of the blogs I have listed. They are learning the language, dealing with the people, being away from their families, and learning how to function in a foreign country. I really respect that and am even a bit envious. It must be such an adventure to pick up and go, to start a new life in such a foreign and exotic country. I am counting the days until I can go back to Europe and experience it all over again, which will hopefully be this summer. I am trying to learn the language before we go on our trip so I can at least make an attempt to communicate. I may not be living in France, but I am a French girl at heart.

Country Roads

I am going to visit my parents this weekend in Pennsylvania. They still live in the area I grew up in (if not the same house)- a small Central PA town with beautiful mountains, lush foliage (in the summer, of course), and rolling farmland as far as the eye can see.

When I go home, it is like I never left. I am pampered by my mother who makes all of my favorite meals, does my laundry and takes me shopping. She is my confidant and closest companion. My dad and I veg out in front of the TV, making snide remarks about whatever political opinion, celebrity screw up or current event may be en vogue that weekend. He also loves to talk about my career. We discuss that often. In PA, I don't have to do anything I don't want! It is like a weekend retreat for the over-worked and over-stressed.

If you have never been to this seemingly boring state, it is well worth the trip. We are not only Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Central PA has such beautiful landscapes, it will take your breath away. It can only be described as "God's Country", as Le Mari so aptly put it.